Nightmare scenario
by wolflink123
Summary: The Doctor is sure she's had better nightmares than this.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Hello hello! And welcome to the Nightmare scenario part 1!**

**Please enjoy your stay!**

**Dark Doctor sooo yeah ooc ish.**

**Unfortunately, I don't own these characters, I just makeup stories and put them in them.**

**The Nightmare **

It had happened again.

A mistake here, missing the obvious there.

The wrong move at a critical moment.

And just like that, her friends, her fam was gone.

All three in one go.

Ryan had been captured first. When they had all gone in different directions in the supposed to be safe alien market to explore for themselves.

She really should have trusted her bad feeling when he had missed their check-in call after the first hour in the market, but Yaz had told her not to worry. Reminding her that Ryan's phone had been playing up for a while now.

So when he still didn't turn up an hour later at the TARDIS, she was one sign of danger from going it to full-blown panic mode despite this time Graham rationalising his absence that he might have gotten distracted and hadn't realised the time.

Cause this is how it always started, someone goes missing. Usually, it's not one of her companions, but that just made her panic spike quicker.

So she tried to hide it from her two other friends just how close she was to panicking through jokes and attempted small talk, telling them that she had found something cool that she wanted to show them so she could keep them close as she looked for her missing companion.

In hindsight, the Doctor should have left them in the safety of her magnificent ship, then, at least, Yaz and Graham would have survived.

Even if they hated her.

Left her.

At least they would still be alive.

Tracking him down had been easy enough, a local vendor had been more than happy to give them directions to where he had seen a human that matched Ryan's description had gone once she mentioned that she was looking for him.

Almost excited to point them in the right direction, despite the disinterest shown seconds before.

She probably should have seen the trap then and there, but her fear of losing another friend made her overlook the strange behavior.

So off they went, following the vendor's directions to a building that was quite far from the marketplace, and in an all but deserted part of the town, but, still, she hadn't noticed the obvious trap.

It looked the same as all the others, red rock with orange stuff holding them together.

But there was something... off about it.

Almost like a perception filter but better, but this world wasn't advanced enough for that sort of technology.

It was only then that she released the trap.

And then Graham distracted her with a question and she turned away from the building only for Yaz to wordlessly shout as the Doctor felt a sharpness in her neck before the lights when out.

I had only been twenty minutes at most when the Doctor's eyes finally snapped open again, but it had been more than enough for her to be taken inside and restrained.

After testing the restraints, which were solid and unmoving, realising she had also been gaged, checking for exits, which she counted one of, and whether or not she still had her sonic, which she did and she could just reach it which told her that whoever had captured them most likely hadn't captured her before, she noticed two other things at once.

One, that Graham wasn't in the room.

Two, Yaz was and she was restrained across the room from herself and looking horrified at something that was between them.

Which turned out to be Ryan's mangled, dead body.

And everything just sort of stopped.

She lost track of the flow of time and the turning of the universe as numbness settled in as her eyes refused to look away from the sightless eyes that gazed into her own, that being the last place he had been looking.

It was quickly followed by an icy rage growing in her, freezing her hearts and clouding her thoughts with a burn for revenge that brought a tension to her body that tightened every muscle in her to the point of pain.

Cause there was only one logical reason that someone would do this.

If she could have even called it logical.

They had a grudge against her and took it out on her friends, and were now using the body to gloat about it.

She had really been trying hard this regeneration to not let things like this happen, not only because she was afraid of losing friends, but also because she was afraid of what she would do.

The things her last face had done, had let happen, had been prepared to do when he lost friends were so beyond terrible that the thought of doing anything like that terrified her.

But the line had been crossed now.

She had no intentions of letting anyone involved live.

Everything else just sort of melded together a bit after that.

The thing she'd be murdering soon came in, started monologuing without encouragement. She knew it was spouting something ridiculous, trying to rationalize their actions because of what she had done, or was it failed to do? She couldn't be bothered to listen to its ramblings as it blamed its actions on her.

She did, however, listen quite closely when it mentioned that they were right now in a landed spaceship that was using a sort of cloaking device to look like a normal building.

Easy.

Turn on the emergency self-destruct and set it to fly up above the atmosphere so it wouldn't hurt anyone else.

Thought first she had to get Yaz and herself out of these restraints and find Graham safe and alive, and then get out of this place before it took off.

Well, that had been the plan anyway.

The first part had been easy, once the thing left, the Doctor used her sonic on their restraints and removed the gag from her mouth. She paused a moment after releasing Yaz to lightly run her fingers over Ryan's forehead, to send a silent apology and to take in his last moments of fear and pain, of watching herself through Ryan's eyes restrained and unconscious and begging for her help before slipping away, letting it adds to her own pain and fuel her rage.

Then they were running down the corridor of the spaceship, frantically searching till they stumbled over the control room. Some fiddling, sonicing and ignoring Yaz's questions later, the ship was set to fly then blow up, giving them five minutes to get her other friend and escape.

The Doctor took a second to bring up a map of the ship to locate where Graham would probably be and how they were going to get out of this death trap.

Once the map was memorised, she grabbed Yaz's hand again and they took off towards Graham.

Soon enough they found the right door and the Doctor soniced it open and quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind her before Yaz saw what was inside.

That pathetic excuse for a living being was stooped over Graham's, she truly hoped at this moment, dead body. A scalpel hung loosely in its fingers just above the opening in her friend's chest, as if it had been poking around inside him before looking up, surprised at her sudden entrance.

Her rage took on a dark and twisted tone as she approached the thing and...

Well.

Did things that were sure to be added to the line up of nightmares the next time she decided to sleep.

The Time Lady didn't even spare the thing a glance as she let the body fall, moving towards her companion's body and repeating what she did to Ryan on him, letting his final thoughts and memories wash over her as the ice grew in her hearts.

She stopped long enough to pick up one of the cloths on the trolly of tools to wipe the blood splatters off her face and what she could get off her jacket, then quickly moved to the door.

The door slid open and Yaz stumbled away from the door, obviously trying to listen to what had been happening inside without much luck, judging by the look of confusion.

A look that melted to one of horror as she took in the blood splatters and the two dead bodies behind her.

"Doctor?"

The question and fear in that one word had barely registered at the time, but, all the same, she had earnt it.

"The Doctor's not here at the moment Yasmin, but I'll keep you safe, trust me?

She had tried to give a reassuring smile but the dead tone sort of ruined it, but Yaz had still taken the hand she'd extended, after a few too many seconds of hesitation but it had still been better than just running away.

Even if she probably should have though.

The pair race towards the exit, the Time Lord leading Yaz, pulling her along faster and faster as she tried not to stumble as she struggled to keep up.

A few turns later, the outside world finally came into view.

It was that final burst of speed that did it though.

Yaz stumbled and fell, letting go of the Doctor's hand as she did.

With the speed she was running, the Time Lady was unable to stop before she passed through the doorway and only turned just as the door thunked to a close.

There wasn't even a porthole for her to look through, all she could do was listen as Yaz collided with it from the other side, begging the Doctor to open it as she bashed on it.

The sonic did nothing, there was no way to open to from out here, and there was no time.

All she could do was reach out to Yaz with her mind, running her hand over the door until she found where the connection was strongest, where Yaz's hand would most likely be.

She apologized first, cringing at the spike of fear she felt from her friend, then tried to send all the comfort she could along with more apologies. She could hear as the dull banging faded, the acceptance and dread replacing fear, and had to crouch as Yaz's presence moved downwards.

Then the rumbling started as the ship began to take off.

With one final apology, the Doctor broke the link and ran, faster than ever, she ran from the guilt and the fear and the pain.

She ran till she tripped over her own feet and slammed into the wall beside her. Breathing heavily, she slid down the wall till she was sitting in the dust and watched as the ship flew up and up, taking her friends, her family, with it.

Six hours ago they were having tea in the TARDIS while Ryan tried to teach them how to play video games.

Now they were gone and she was alone.

Again.

**Love? Hate? Brain bleach? Let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Welcome to the Nightmare scenario part 2.**

**Enjoy your stay.**

**Please note trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts and panic attacks, some dark Doctor as well, probably some other stuff too so just be safe kaaaay.**

**Unfortunately, I don't own these characters, I just make up stories and put them in them.**

**The Aftermath **

The Doctor wasn't exactly sure how long she stayed down there in the dust, repeating in her head what happened since they came to this bloody planet over and over.

The should haves and could haves taunting her as she went over each moment.

And then, something broke through the haze.

A voice.

A familiar voice.

The vendor from this morning that acted strang, acted excited.

That gave them directions to that damn ship.

"He knew where he was sending us."

Her thoughts once again turned dark as she muttered to herself. Her impulses took over as she stood and moved towards the voice.

It was easy for the Doctor to tail him as he seemed to be in a world of his own talking to himself.

She followed him all the way to what she guessed was his home, a sort of run-down looking part of the town that gave you the feeling that you wouldn't want to be caught here alone after dark. She marched over to the door he had just disappeared through and knocked. The door opened a few seconds later to the very confused vendor.

He stared at her for a second and opened his mouth but before any words escaped she suddenly moved and flipped him to the ground hard enough so he was gasping for breath as he lay on the ground, halfway out of his front door.

As he struggled for breath, the Doctor picked him up by the neck, kicked the door closed and smashing him into the wall and pinned him to it.

"You."

She growled, face now far too close to his.

"Please! Don't hurt us! I'll give you anything you w-want jus-"

His begging was cut off as she squeezed his throat harder.

"The only thing I want is my friends back, but that's never going to happen, killing you right now won't bring them either, nor will it make anything better, but the thought of you still being alive while they are dead just makes me sick, and right now that's all the reason I need."

"No please! she w-won't be safe by herself."

"Shut it- wait, She?"

"Daddy?"

The Doctor froze and her head snapped to where the new voice came from, taking in the small child, her eye's welling with tears as she watched a stranger choke her father.

_"Your reign of terror will end with the sight of the first crying child and you know it."_

Words spoken to her so long ago in a different lifetime came back with a vengeance as all her rage instantly drained away, leaving her exhausted.

"You're right Miss Oswald, you're always right."

She muttered as she stepped away from the vendor, releasing him and letting him fall to the floor as he sucked in air.

The Doctor glanced at the child again and frowned as she spotted a familiar object in her tiny hand's.

She slowly moved towards the child, ignoring the protests of the man behind her and crouched down so she was closer to her eye level and held out her hand, nodding to the object. The girl handed it to the Doctor reluctantly, still close to tears and shaking, making the Doctor hate her self just a bit more than before.

She turned it over in her hands and pressed the small button on its side. The screen of the phone lit up, showing a selfie of the fam and herself that she had taken when she had nicked Ryan's phone then set it to his lock screen.

That had been about a month ago, Yaz and Ryan had been teaching Graham and her about selfies for some reason.

It only took her second to guess why this kid had Ryan's phone.

Despite the spike of anger, the Doctor was able to keep it together.

She pocketed the phone and stood, she stalked towards the vendor, picking him up by his shoulders and putting him back on his feet.

"Now then, I believe I've just changed my mind, I won't kill you, but tell me, cause this is the least you own me, why have you been leading people to that thing."

"W-well, it's just humans, it only w-wanted humans, I send it humans and it will protect us, protect her, keep her secret, but w-well..."

"Come on, don't stop now, but well what?"

"W-well, it told me to send anyone that looks for the humans as w-well, and that if it's the right one then it'll get us off this planet, take us somewhere that she'll be safe."

"Safe? Why aren't you safe now? Hang on."

She took a step back to get a better look at the human looking alien.

"What species are you?"

"Taritens."

"Ooh, of course, Tariten, one of the three self-aware species native to this planet. Among other horrible things, you lot use your children as a sort of secondary currency, strictly between other Taritens, the younger the more valuable, taking them off-planet is punishable by death, not that any would care enough to try, I've only met one of you once and five minutes into the conversation I was trying not to hit him, quite the achievement that."

She took a step closer to him so he could see the hatred in her eyes.

"I despise your species."

"The feeling is mutual, w-why do you think I'm trying to escape this planet, w-why I helped that thing that killed your friends, all I w-want to do is save my daughter, it w-was the only thing that w-would do it, that w-would help me."

The Doctor sighed as she took a step back, the exhaustion really taking a toll now.

What she wouldn't do if she was in this situation is the stuff of nightmares.

She glanced at the still teary-eyed girl once again as she made a decision.

"Pack what you can, I'll give you a lift to a safe planet."

"W-what? W-why w-would you help us?"

She glared at him.

"Not the time to be questioning my motives mate, so get a shift on. Now."

"Right yes, it's just, thank you. Thank you so much!"

"Don't thank me. Just be grateful for your daughter, she's the only reason you're not dead right now, so hurry up before I change my mind again."

The vendor scurried away from her, picking up his daughter as he went and disappeared further into the house.

Twenty minutes later and they set off to the TARDIS. The Doctor led the two Taritens along the most direct route through the winding streets and quickly enough her lovely blue box came in to view. She stopped in front of it for a moment, running her fingers lightly over the door, drawing strength from the only certainty in her life before fishing out her key from her far too big pockets.

"W-why are you going in that box?"

"Because I am, and if you still want that lift you'll follow me inside."

She stepped in without a glance back and moved up to the console, the soothing tones of the TARDIS giving her something familiar to focus on as she allowed a stranger into her home.

"W-wa- how is this possible? It's big-"

"No. Shut up. Only people I like are allowed to say that and you are not someone I like, so just tell me which planet you want to be dropped on then keep your mouth shut till we get there."

He fumbled with his words for a moment before he managed to get the name out.

"Grekaltor-31, its quite far away bu-"

"Grekaltor-31, easy."

She moved swiftly around the console, working the controls with more force than necessary before slamming the final leaver down.

Once they arrived, the Doctor snapped her fingers, the doors of her magnificent ship open and she settled a glare on the Tariten male.

"Were here, now get out."

He turned and looked out the doors for a moment before turning back to the Doctor with a look of disbelief.

"But that's not possible! Grekaltor-31 is months away in the fastest of ships!"

"And my ship is faster than any of them. So get out."

"B-bu-"

"Now!"

"Yes, yes of course."

He hesitated a second before turning and walking out with his daughter in one arm and belongings on the other.

Once through the doors, he turned again and opened his mouth to speak but she snapped her fingers to slam the doors in his face, cutting off whatever else he had to say.

Moving around the console, she moved her TARDIS into deep space and let her drift.

This was the part she was dreading.

Silence.

The low sounds of the TARDIS alleviated it somewhat but after so much chatter and laughter.

After so many sounds of life.

It was deafening.

It was suffocating.

Actually no, it wasn't just the silence.

She actually couldn't breathe.

Or was she breathing too fast?

Her lungs weren't cooperating.

She tried to control her breathing but the tightness of her chest made it painful.

When she lifted her hands off the console they were shaking violently.

She took a step away from the console and the room tilted and her legs gave out, landing her heavily on to the floor of the console room.

The room was still tilting so she scrunched her eyes closed and brought her knees up to her chest and held her legs as tight as she could, pressing her forehead to her knees.

This was new.

She wasn't entirely sure what was happening.

She'd seen companions like this before, shaking, unable to breathe or hyperventilating among other things. Usually from nightmares after a particular bad adventure or from the adventure it's self.

She never really was sure what to do, how to help properly when so she usually just hugged them and hopped for the best.

She never thought to even ask about them, more just ask if they were okay then pretend she saw nothing and they just went along with it.

So there was another regret to add to the list.

Cause this felt horrible.

She felt like she was dying.

Again.

Her TARDIS was trying to help through their link but she really couldn't do much.

She just barely heard as the engins started up, only just felt the jolt as they landed, and only just registered as the doors squeeked open.

The sound of a light breeze, however, came through clearly, as did the feel of it on the back of her neck.

The calming effect came next.

Her breathing leveled out and the pain in her chest receded, she lifted her head a bit and opened her eyes a crack and the room was still. She released the grip on her legs with one hand and brought it to eye level, it had stopped shaking.

The Doctor scrunched her face in confusion.

It usually took her companions hours to calm down this much, so what just happened?

Then she noticed the smell, it was faint but nice. She didn't recognize it but there was just something so calming about it. It was coming in on the air from wherever her ship had taken her.

She lifted her head more so she could look out the doors and almost choked.

Long red grass and an orange sky.

She bolted up without thinking anything through and almost landed on her face in her attempt to get outside.

Once out the doors, she saw the singular sun, the different coloured patches of grass and her hearts rate settled.

She wasn't _there_.

That was a relief.

"Was that really necessary?"

The bongs of apology from the console actually seemed genuine.

"So where are we? And what's that smell?"

The Doctor took a few steps out from her box to have a proper look around.

They had landed in a huge field of tall grass, it came up to her waist and there were so many different coloured patches. As she walked around her ship she could see a lake and trees in the distance, as well as a small cluster of what looked like huts of some kind with a column of smoke above it.

She completed the circle around her TARDIS, seeing nothing else but grass and distant trees, before moving back into her ship, closing the doors and walking up to the console.

"And the point of being here is?"

An atmosphere analysis came up on on the screen.

"Ooh the air has naturally occurring calming properties, that's cool... vaguely toxic to humans though, that's really not cool."

The ship let out some noises of agreement.

"Okay so you wanted to calm me down, you've done that, thank you, but..."

She could feel the tension return to her body as her thoughts, thought calm, returned to what just happened.

"It doesn't really make anything better! My friends are dead! They all just _died,_ because of me, because of my carelessness. They-they'er gone, cause of me."

Her voice broke but she was able to breathe out the sob before it took hold.

"And to top it all off, I-I just _murdered_ a living creature!"

Beeps of reassurance.

"That didn't give me the right to do it! And that Tariten, i almost killed him simply because he was involved."

More beeps.

"Yeah I know I didn't actually but I wanted to, and that's just as bad."

She took in a shuddering, deep breath.

"I thought I could change, I thought I could be someone better, leave the battlefield behind like my last face wanted to so much, but, I can't, I'm in too deep and there's no way out, I just keep making bigger messes that kill more people than I save! WHY!"

She slammed her fist on the console.

"Why did you ask me? I just wanted to rest. Why did make me regenerate!"

She slammed her other fist on the console and bowed her head.

A sharp beep behind her made the Doctor look up and around at the screens on the wall. On them, images and short videos flicked through on a never-ending stream.

It took her a second before she recognized what her ship was showing her.

People and planets she had defended just because she was there.

Civilization and societies improved and people freed just because she could help.

Dictators overthrown and monsters defeated.

Creatures of all kinds saved.

Light and kindness spread far and wide.

Hope prevailing.

She glared at the screen

"You're leaving out all the important parts, everyone killed because or by me, everything destroyed by my hand or because of something I did or didn't do. You can't just ignore all the bad because I've done some good."

A small electric shock made her jump away from the console and a memory from long ago was pressed into her mind and made her clutch her head in pain.

_"The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."_

"It's not the same, and don't you dare use my words against me."

More beeps, now annoyed.

"The feeling's mutual."

The Doctor sighed and moved back to stroke the console behind her.

"I'm sorry, I know you're just trying to help me old girl, but it's not worth it, I'm not worth it, I just... can't keep doing this, the universe isn't safe when I'm left alone but others aren't safe around me."

Another sigh.

"I-I think it's time, time for you to let me go."

A low sad noise came from the console.

Then all of the noises of the TARDIS stopped for a moment and the ship was silent, to the Doctor, it almost felt like she was thinking or considering or had found something new.

She wondered what her old girl was up to till the screen changed to an image of Yaz's apartment building.

She stared at the image for a moment before signing and tearing her eyes away.

"Yeah, you're right, I-I should let them know what happened to Yaz, I should tell Ryan's father as well, then... well you know."

The Doctor turned and moved slowly as she set the time-space coordinates for the right time and place. Double-checking them even thought her ship was unlikely to take her to the wrong place or time.

Once they landed, she stroked the console again and took a deep breath before moving to the doors.

All the while the Time Lord was running through possible conversation, trying to figure out how to break it to Yaz's family in the nicest way possible that their daughter wasn't coming home and it was all her fault.

She could already feel the slap from Yaz's mum.

It was always the mums.

She took the stairs to stall for more time but by the time she got to the door, she still had nothing.

She held her breath, closed her eyes and before she could reconsider doing this, loudly knocked on the door.

**_Two hours later_**

The Doctor stood in the TARDIS med bay, head tilted up and tissue paper stuffed up her nose to stop more blood leaking on to her t-shirt.

The talks had gone as expected. Disbelief, tears and yelling, anger and sadness.

Her cheek still stung slightly from the slap from Yaz's mum but the near-catatonic state and haunted look from Yaz's dad would never leave her.

And, while her nose hadn't broken from where Ryan's father had punched her, there would definitely be bruising and the bleeding had yet to stop.

But it was his words that had hit harder.

He had been distraught by the initial news of the death of his son but the fury that came when she mentioned that she had no intention of surviving her next adventure rivaled some of the angriest species she had come across.

_'They're dead because of you! why do you deserve the easy way out.'_

She couldn't place it at the time, why his words made her react more than the punch.

Once she was back in her ship, the TARDIS was ready and waiting with more memories, some good, mostly bad, and even some long forgotten and almost remembered ones, she couln'd quite figure out why they were similar.

Bit a particular one stood out and she realised why his words stuck, what connected the memories.

_'That's your punishment. If you do this, if you kill them all, then that's the consequence. You live.'_

The Moment, using the face of the woman the at the time Not-Doctor had yet to love.

Now those words, that face, that voice, all these years later, it was the last bit she needed to convince herself to keep going, it was the punishment she deserved after all.

Dying could wait, there was still so much she had to make amends for and a hell of a lot more things to see and experience.

The memories from the TARDIS stopped when she changed her mind.

Now her magnificent ship was making low noises that were somewhere between happy and comforting, she could also feel a slight pressure in her mind that the Doctor could only describe as a mental hug.

The Doctor lowered her head and removed the tissues from her nose. When no more blood came, she chucked them away and used a new tissue to wipe away the blood around her nose.

Once her face was clean, the Time Lord looked back up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry I-"

She was interrupted by a few louder noises from the ship and the pressure increased a bit.

"If you say so, doesn't stop me from being sorry though, cause what would you have done if I did, I didn't even think of that, and I'm so, so sorry old girl."

More sad noises filtered through the room along with some beeps.

"Yeah, anyway, it's just the two of us again, what did you wanna do?"

Higher pitched beeps answered.

"Yeah good point, a few days here then, we can go find so trouble ay Sexy?"

Some more beeps came that made the Doctor chuckle and grin up at her ship.

"You and your love for trouble, what am I going to do with you?"

More beeps.

"What? But- I just fixed that! Ah, whatever you say, dear."

The Time Lady turned slowly and left the med bay, heading for the console room. Her pace was without hurry as she meandered through the corridors, running her hand along the walls as she went.

The TARDIS took her the long way round to the console room but soon enough she reached it.

The Doctor wandered around the room, grabbing and digging up the usual tools and equipment for TARDIS repairs and set them near the console. She stared for a moment at what she had collected before looking at the time rotor crystal.

"The thing is though old girl, I can't- we shouldn't- it's just- I can't do this again, I can't keep making new friends, new family, only to lose them, so, no more, Alright? No more.

"And yeah I know I said the universe isn't safe when I'm alone, but the universe is never safe, so there's no point dragging other in and put them in danger so just do go looking for more okay?"

The Doctor trailed off with a heavy exhale, running her fingers over the console as the TARDIS made sad noises of understanding.

"Now."

She bent to pick up the welding helmet, forcing a grin till it felt real.

"Let's get to it then."

**Love? Hate? Brain bleach? Let me know!**


End file.
